Self Love

audriechad

5 days ago

2 min read

Updated: 21 hours ago

Building Your Child's Toolkit

How our kids explain Self Love:

Self love means being a good friend to yourself. It's liking who you are, being gentle with yourself when you make a mistake, and knowing you matter just the way you are.

Why is it important?

How children talk to themselves shapes how they see the world. Self love gives kids a steady base when things get hard. It helps them try new things, bounce back from mistakes and stand up for what they need (see our “Bounce Back” module). Self love is not about being perfect. It's about knowing you are worthy of care, even on tough days.

How does it help?

Many neurodivergent children hear a lot of correction. Dr. Edward Hallowell notes that low self-esteem is a common problem for children with ADHD who are corrected, punished and teased on a daily basis. Over time, that criticism can become the voice inside their head. Psychologist Dr. Sharon Saline explains that criticism from others and from ourselves builds up and is absorbed into beliefs about self-worth.

The answer is self-compassion. Drawing on the work of Dr. Kristin Neff, Dr. Saline describes it as treating yourself with care and understanding instead of harsh judgment. It means asking, "What can I do to help?" instead of "What's wrong with me?". The Child Mind Institute adds that letting go of shame is the first step to getting unstuck, because shame only adds to anxiety.

Self love grows through connection. Dr. Hallowell calls emotional connection to people, places and activities a child loves an "inoculation against despair". When children feel loved and seen for who they are, they learn to see their own light.

Build Self Love at Home with Your Child!

Self love is a practice. Small, daily moments help children build a kinder inner voice.

Ways to nurture self love:

Daily affirmations. Say one kind thing in the mirror each morning: "I am brave. I am kind. I am enough."
Be their friend. When they're hard on themselves, ask, "What would you say to a friend who felt this way?"
Name their strengths. Notice their gifts out loud, not just their grades or behaviour.
Spend unhurried time. Hang out with no agenda. Watch, listen and enjoy who they are.
Normalize mistakes. Remind them that everyone gets things wrong and that mistakes help us grow.
Make an "I like me" list. Write down things they like about themselves and add to it often.
Model it. Speak kindly about yourself in front of your child, especially after your own mistakes.